Ill Be Happy Again Merrill Womach

Y'all know, it says Jesus did an awful lot of healing "the lame" in the bible. And I don't mean Lady Gaga fans, I'thousand talking about the handicapable. But that fact doesn't seem to bother these gospel singers who are maimed, mauled and scarred beyond conventionalities but still sing his praises.

Now, lest y'all think I'm cruel, we have a family friend who is a blind pastor. Merely here's the affair: he was built-in with i middle, and the other was poked out in a basketball game by an ornery 10-year onetime when he was in junior high. How's that for rotten luck? You lot think I'd exist kneeling at the former rugged cross if I was dealt that hand? Much less cutting gospel records?!? I'd be drinking alone in the dark and blasphemous to myself, mixing a Downwards Screw follow-up on my Fisher Price record player.

That's my all-time guess, equally I've never known real adversity and would be a full puss in the confront of whatever physical challenge that doesn't involve me retrieving a brilliant orangish flag from a vat of baked beans. So, I guess I can't tell if these albums are inspirational, exploitative or terrifying...and I don't know if it makes me a prick for posting them....merely they are kind of awesome. Enjoy the misery.

Aye, information technology truly is a miracle to tickle the ivories when yous have nothing to tickle them with. In that location'due south a guy in my hometown, a lawyer, who comes into a diner every single day and eats breakfast with no hands. He uses utensils similar a pro. That'south impressive. I've seen a guy with no artillery and no legs roll and light a cigarette. Amazing. And then equating this woman'southward difficult earned accommodation to a "miracle" is a chip of a stretch, and actually kind of condescending to her when you think nigh it—as if she had zippo to do with the work that went into learning the organ with no freaking hands. Similar, if it were really a phenomenon, wouldn't Jesus give her new digits? Otherwise that'due south just a half-assed phenomenon, and God don't make junk, as my t-shirt once said. ...Also, would "The Handless Organist" be her given Christian name, or is this a nickname she earned after? The tape gives no indication. [This 1, and a few others, come from Ester Goldberg'southward weblog. Her true treasure lies in heaven for uploading these.]

Illinois: my country invented the corn domestic dog, the ferris wheel, and the Raul Julia of singing midgets. Like The Handless Organist, "The Singing Midget" apparently doesn't have a name—first, last, heart or otherwise. It was also an affront to the tens of other Singing Midgets in Illinois, and spawned the landmark copyright case "Singing Midget five. Billy Barty's Half-Pint Jug Ring." In the case of the anthology's proper name, "Colorful" is obviously an old-timey way to say "Ghastly" and "Evil in God'south Optics" while seeming fun and innocent. But the Singing Midget knows better, and when these three aren't suspecting it he'due south going to jump out of that bass cello and gnaw their crusading faces off. Then we'll see who's "colorful."

What Handicapped Gospel Album commodity would be complete without Little Richard Miller, he who is without arms and legs? I wrote extensively nigh his life story in comic book grade Here, but still think it bears repeating that this dude is the Conan O' Brian of armless, legless gospel singers. His follow up album—"Jesus, Use Me, Just Not For A Doorstop This Time"—was poorly received, and the tour bus was cutting in half and sold to the Singing Midget. Kind of a lamentable story. Also worth repeating: this album has tracks similar "In the Shelter of His Artillery." You don't see the Handless Organist doing "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands," you know. That's sick. Besides sick? The dude was double-promoted twice in high school. What'southward that fifty-fifty mean?

I phone call bullshit—these dudes ain't bullheaded. Wait at 'em yuck it up, knowingly. I call bullshit. The fact is, you could get PRET-TY far every bit a blind act in 1939 and the coin was merely rollin in and...what's that? They're All the same TOURING seventy YEARS After? Man, that'southward a long time to keep up the blind shtick. Especially later on that dust-up with another band calling themselves "The Blind Boys of Alabama," forcing them to add "Original" to their name...and and then Gallagher's brother was calling himself "The Blind Boy From Alabama" and...the whole matter just got ugly. They finally had a hit not too long agone and...well, this video kind of makes me goosebumpy. Plus, "their rendition of Tom Waits' 'Way Downwards in the Hole' was used every bit the theme song of the HBO series The Wire in its first season" according to Wikipedia. Pretty good for some fake blind fellows. Don't believe me? Listen to the subtext of the song: "Was Blind Only Now I See." I'm not asking for "Paul is Dead, Paul is Dead..." only c'mon! Hibernate your ruse a picayune better!:

Mayhap they should have called this album "Lord, It Is By Faith in Our Calculations Alone That This Trio is a 5-Piece." These guys did a bunch of albums in their 24-hour interval and don't audio one-half bad, but it's unclear who did what. I think the tall guy sings, and the guy in the wheelchair is like the Professor Xavier of gospel music—I but say that because he's surrounded past mutants.

And THAT brings us to this niggling anthology I bought not but two days agone: Merrill Womach'south "Happy Once again." So, basically, Merrill Womach is like a burned confront version of Mickey Rourke, with a piddling Tom Waits sprinkled in.

According to the album, the guy was horribly burned afterwards surviving a horrible airplane explosion. And, praise be to Jesus, they even prove y'all on the album'due south inner fold!

Hey, now that's something I wanted to run across. You could have just told me "it looked as if someone had taken a marshmallow and left it in the burn also long," and I would have believed you, Mr. Womach. Merely, no we get to see it. We get to see information technology all. He even does a song called "Here Comes the Son," considering really doing "Hither Comes the Lord's day," (or "Hot, Hot, Hot," or "Burn down Down Beneath" for that matter) would simply be in poor taste. And thank the maker, we get to HEAR him cheers to the magic of the cyberspace. You'll be surprised to learn his vocal chords are completely melted, he sounds like a dehydrated donkey braying out praises. Just kidding, he sounds like this:

"He has promised to dry every tear in my eye..."

Yep. That'due south fucked up.

Possibly Merrill and this pastor can get together and practice a world tour. I hateful, I'd pay to see that. If ane blown up dude is an inspiration, ii would be like an inspiration explosion!

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Source: https://www.geekweek.com/2010/01/halle.html

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